Perfection
by Pedellea
Summary: Sully's thoughts after the terrible tragedy that befalls. A post Judgment Day story.


**TITLE**: Perfection   
**AUTHOR**: Pedellea   
**E-MAIL**: pedellea@hotmail.com   
**DATE**: October 29, 2002   
**RATING**: G   
**SUMMARY**: Sully's thoughts after the terrible tragedy that befalls. A post "Judgment Day" story.   
**SPOILERS**: : Judgment Day Parts I & II   
**DISCLAIMER**: Third Watch belongs to John Wells Production and Warner Bros. There you are. Short and sweet.   
**AUTHOR'S NOTES**: I felt I had to write something in the point-of-view of Sully, especially after what happened in the Judgment Day episodes. Please let me know what you think! Give me feedback! 

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**PERFECTION**   
By Pedellea 

You were my perfection. 

Were. 

How can that be? You were so young, so beautiful. Yet, you have been ripped away from me, and it hurts so much... 

I remember now the happier days of old. When you stepped into my life, I was forever changed. Never did I imagine that I would be graced by a gorgeous woman like you. I thought I'd be a bachelor all my life, stuck dreaming about the what-ifs of marriage. But you, Tatiana, you changed that. 

You made me truly happy. Your smile, your kiss, your touch... you were genuine. A real treasure to me. 

Yet I never told you all that I felt for you. Maybe because you tore my heart - bad. Your secrets... I couldn't believe that I married a person who worked for a man I hated, one who hurt my partner so bad. But you promised me that you didn't work for Chevchenko anymore. Did I listen, though? No. 

And there begins our unravelling. 

I foolishly placed my trust in that jerk Madjanski, believing he could solve my problems with you. I almost let you go because of my blindness. But I realized you loved me deeply. Purely. Truly. How could I let go of that? No one has ever loved me quite like you. But I had my suspicions, and I couldn't let go of my secrets. Yet you so freely let go of yours. 

When I saw that the surveillance intruded our life, though, I couldn't take it anymore. You didn't deserve that kind of treatment from me. After all, you had been used by Chevchenko in your hope of finding a better life for you and your son. There was no way I was going to treat you the same way as Chevchenko. No way in hell. 

It was too late then. Sergei was murdered, and your heart broke in two. You still had me though. Sergei was never my true son, but I could have been your comfort, your pillar. But that Madjanski... he ruined it between us. Or maybe it was me. Could my reasoning have comforted a raging mother who just had her baby boy killed by the person she trusted so much? So, I let you go when you needed me the most. I thought your emotions would wear off and we could patch things up again later. 

But, I forever lost you then and there. I should have known your bullheadedness would bring you to Chevchenko to seek justice for the unspeakable crime. I could have done so much more for you... but you were murdered senselessly by a cold-blooded killer. And I never got to make up the wrongs I had done to you. You left me hating what I did to you. 

So now, I'm alone again. Only now am I realizing how much I took you for granted. I'm so sorry for my selfishness. 

I took care of Chevchenko for you. I know you would be happy to know that he's off the streets now, gone forever. He won't be able to use other young mothers for his purposes, kill their sons for his benefit, ever again. But still, that doesn't bring you back to me... 

I see your smile now, your cheerful, beautiful smile. I pray you're in a better place, a place where your son is with you. I can hear you laugh oh-so-joyfully, seeing your son again, no longer bound by the chains of this earth that brought you so much grief. 

I miss you so much. And I'm so very lost without you. 

God, I should have known nothing good ever lasts. But I'll never regret meeting you. I'd never trade my moments with you for anything else in the world, except to spend more time with you. You were my one true joy. You made my life a perfect, living dream, one I never though possible. 

You were my perfection. And you'll always be my perfection. 

**THE END**

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Hope you enjoyed that. As always, I enjoyed writing it. Skipp Sudduth and Savannah Haske did such a wonderful job on the episodes, so I had to bounce off of that. And thanks to the NBC execs for airing a two hour Third Watch episode! 

Please send feed back... I can actually feed off of them when the food cupboard runs low at my residence. ;o) Please submit a review or send me an e-mail at pedellea@hotmail.com. Thanks! 


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